FOOOOOD

So I've already posted about the start of my fitness journey, and how I got started with my exercise. Now it's time to talk about FOOD.

I love food. LOVE IT. I also love to use it to fix my emotional issues. Which would be why I gained most of my weight when I was depressed in University. I have always used food to fix my feelings. Loneliness, sadness, anger...those are the big ones that have caused me to eat too much in the past. 

First I thought I'd tell you what I used to eat. This is probably going to be very embarrassing. These are the foods I love and used to eat way too often:

Pasta (any type, including fettuccine alfredo, mac and cheese, plain egg noodles with margarine, etc)

Pizza (I still eat pizza, but not a whole one in one sitting by myself anymore)

Pop/Soda

Pastries (I warned my husband when we started dating to never buy me pastries...doughnuts, cake, cookies...they'll all be gone fairly quickly with me around)

Chips

Cereal (Depending on the type, I'd put extra sugar on top. Om nom.)

Alcohol (beer, wine, etc)

Cheese (I love cheese so BAD)

That's a rough list. I'm absolutely sure there's more. I just can't think of them because I don't eat like that anymore.

Now, when I was younger and danced 12 hours a week, I really could get away with eating whatever and still be skinny. But then I stopped dancing and started University, and I continued eating the same way, except with more sitting on my butt than normal. I'd eat a whole box of Kraft Dinner (aka Mac & Cheese for the Americans out there) by myself. I'd get a medium pizza and eat it myself. I'd eat a whole bag of chips. And chocolate bars, and a bottle of wine, and it all adds up.

When I started my health journey, I didn't initially start out by counting calories. At first all I did was exercise and try to cut back. But I was still eating poorly. Eventually I started counting calories, and tried to eat better, but I didn't do that well.

When I started changing my diet, I didn't follow a plan, but I've educated myself well and now make better decisions.

When I started counting calories...it's confusing. There are so many ideas out there about how many calories one should be eating, and it's very overwhelming. Some women find they can survive off of 1200 calories per day. In my opinion, eating any less than 1500 calories per day for a full grown woman is not healthy. I tried eating 1400 calories a day, and that wasn't enough. Once I started eating more, I did much better with my fitness and weight loss. What you really need to know is your BMR (basal metabolic rate; here's a calculator to help you figure yours out: http://health.discovery.com/centers/heart/basal/basal.html), which tells you how many calories your body burns every day just by existing, and focus on eating that amount everyday. Mine is just under 1500. So when I was counting calories, I never went under that. But then how do you lose weight? By exercising. And eating the right kinds and quality of foods.

The truth is, that all calories are NOT equal. This is a myth. Take breakfast for example. 200 calories of doughnut is not the same as 200 calories of eggs and fruit. 300 calories of cereal is not the same as 300 calories of greek yogurt, natural granola, and fruit. One option provides empty calories full of processed carbs and sugar (doughnuts and cereal), and one provides nutritious calories that will give you vitamins, minerals, and fibre to keep you full and healthy.

I don't count calories anymore. I focus on eating when I'm hungry (it's called intuitive eating), and eating protein, fats, and a small amount of carbs. Counting calories gives me anxiety, and it makes me feel like I can eat whatever I want as long as I'm under my calorie count. But that doesn't make sense, so I've taken to trusting myself and trying to eat real food when my body needs it.

Honestly, I've been putting this blog post off because until recently, I didn't feel like my diet was anything to be proud of. My nutrition has never really been on point. I have very limited amounts of willpower. If someone shoves a doughnut towards me, I'll probably eat it. Partly because it's delicious and partly because they brought it for me. I'm just a polite Canadian like that I guess.

However, for a while, I've suspected that I have food sensitivities that have held me back in achieving my goals. I was lactose intolerant when I was young, and dairy continues to give me random problems to this day. I've also recently decided to cut out gluten and grain-based carbs to see if that will help me as well. I've been suspicious for a long time that my diagnosis of IBS is mistaken or that there are related problems to my digestion that I don't know about. It's been interesting going gluten-free, and while I wasn't craving bread, pasta, etc. at first, I am a little bit now that I'm a few days in. I'll have to find alternatives, and hopefully that will help. I don't think everyone should be gluten-free, but I definitely think that as a society we eat way too many processed wheat carbs, and that it's unhealthy and holding us back. But that's just my opinion.

The bottom line in diet is that 'diets' don't work, but changing your diet does. You have to consider whether you want to have doughnuts everyday or feel better on the inside and outside by eating a more natural, non-processed diet. Personally, we don't keep very much unhealthy food in our house. Except for ice cream, which my husband loves, and I only have a very small cup of when he has some...I never eat it on my own. I never really want to anymore.

I think of children when I think of diet. Children ask for food when they're hungry, and when they're full at a meal, they push away their plates. We're like the parent and the child...if only we listen to ourselves. We can choose to put healthy nutritious things on the plate like we would for a child, and we can choose to only do so when we're hungry, and put it away when we're full. Not stuffed-full...satisfied. It's actually quite easy. Of course, I'm the person who eats the same thing everyday at every meal with slight variations, so maybe it's easier for me than some other people. But it's still a choice you're making everyday. You're responsible for it. You're the parent and the child.

The thing about diet though is that it might take effort and willpower in the beginning...and you will slip, and you shouldn't feel bad about that. But after a while, it does get better. Next time I'll tell you what I currently eat. Yum :)

<3 Amanda

The Humble Beginnings of my Active Life

When I started my fitness journey, one of the most difficult things I had to face was becoming more active. I was pretty big, and if you know me at all, you know I'm fairly uncoordinated. Yes, I had danced for a few years, but beyond that, I didn't really do anything. Because I had been in school for 5 years, I hadn't done any activity at all. Just walking up the stairs at the University library was not fun. Running to catch the bus was awful! At this point in my life, I was also clinically depressed and on antidepressants, so my motivation to do pretty much anything was non-existent.

My other obstacle was my health. And honestly, it still can be one of my biggest obstacles. First off, I'd had asthma for years. So I was afraid to push myself too hard because I didn't want to have an asthma attack. I've only had a few really bad attacks where I truly felt like I could not breathe, and those were terrifying. I didn't want to go through that again. Luckily, these days I generally only have asthma issues when it's very muggy out or the mold has been bad outside.

Second, I have moderately bad allergies. As I said about the mold...there's also the grass, some animals, some weeds, dust, etc. Being outside in the summer generally does not go well for me. And if I do activities where I end up breathing deeply, my allergies can really get aggravated.

Third, I do suffer from endometriosis, which used to be extremely painful and would completely disrupt my life. Lots of people really discount the pain suffered by people with endometriosis as not that bad, and that we just can't handle the pain, but unless your period makes you vomit on a regular basis, you can't really understand how it feels. Related to my endometriosis, I also have IBS, and that is aggravated by my period, by certain foods (mostly dairy), and stress. I also get pretty bad headaches around the time of my period. Basically, my hormones hate me. Fun!

Those are my basic health problems, but I've also had problems with my knees, hips, back, and shoulders.

If I sound pathetic, well, just imagine how I feel sometimes! I had all these problems to overcome, and I had no idea how to begin, but I did. I've suffered from so many shin splints, breathing problems, sleepless nights, skipped workouts due to headaches and other pains...man!

One of the first things I started doing to lose weight was biking. I'd go biking with my stepdad on his runs, and he's gone on bike rides with me for the last few years, even helping me train for a couple 50km charity bike rides I've done. He has definitely been a big help during my weight loss.

One other thing I did was walking. Walking is amazing! Walking rivals running for effectiveness in training because if you're walking fast enough, your body wants to run, and to keep walking your body needs to try harder to keep itself on the ground. It's a great leg workout and can be great cardio if you walk fast enough. I also find walking very therapeutic. Whenever I've been frustrated and needed to blow off steam, I've gone for a nice long walk. So calming!

I've also done a lot of swimming (again with my stepdad, and now with my husband), some running (my shins hate it though), some bootcamp classes, ballet, and workout dvds. Most of my workout dvds are Jillian Michaels and Biggest Loser ones. I remember that after biking for a little while, I had started watching the Biggest Loser regularly, and I thought, maybe I should try a Jillian Michaels dvd...I went to the library and rented the 30 Day Shred. It's less than half an hour, and nowadays, I could probably bust it out no problem. The very first time I tried the Level One workout, I was dying! I remember doing jump rope, and my calves were ON FIRE. It was awful. But I got better, and then I did Level Two one day. And I almost puked. But between that and biking, I started really seeing results. So I kept going, and now, I workout for about 8 hours a week, and I look fantastic. Ha!

Part of the point of this post was to share what I've had to struggle through. And to share what I've done on my journey. Honestly, I've tried so many things to find something that works for me. These days, I love weight training. It has changed my body in ways I never thought possible. I will share in a later post what I do now.

The other point of doing this post is to inspire other people! Perhaps you have health problems similar to mine. Maybe some of them, like asthma, will disappear after you started working out. Or maybe you have a condition like endometriosis or IBS or anything else that you know will never go away, but will be better managed by getting in shape. The question I have for you is: why don't you do it? I've had issues piled upon issues piled upon depression and excuses...and I did it. You CAN do it. Just go for a walk. And then tomorrow, go for another walk. And another and another. And then try swimming, and biking, and anything else you want. There are no limits to what you can do for fitness, and the best kind of exercise for you is the one you love! The reason I still go for walks even now is because I LOVE to walk. It's not such a huge workout for me these days, but I still adore it. It's like my exercise soulmate. Find what you love, and overcome your problems. Work within your current limits, and soon you'll see that your limits will expand.

As always, if you have questions or comments, please leave them below! I love to get them!

Next time: Nutrition o.O

<3

Amanda

The Official Introduction!

So here's my official introduction about me (although you probably already know me if you're reading this) and mainly about my fitness journey.

First off, I'm 25 and I got married in October. That's pretty much it. We've got 3 cats, and my husband is in the Army and works swing shift, so I keep really weird hours because of that. I work out on the days he works, so I workout 4 days a week, and have 3 off, and try to get him to join me in doing something active on at least one of those 3 days off. If there's anything else you'd like to know about me, just ask!

As I said in my previous post, when I was in high school, I was very thin. My prom dress was a size 2, and I didn't worry about anything fitting or my weight or anything. My hormones didn't start changing my body until my second and third year of University, when I was 19-20 years old. All of a sudden, I just had these hips and butt and humongous boobs, just out of nowhere.

After that happened, I gained weight pretty rapidly, leading to some super awesome stretch marks all over my belly that I just don't like. I knew I was getting bigger, but I guess that I didn't realize how bad it was until a couple of things happened. The first was a picture a friend took of me after I was finished with my College course (I did a diploma after University) when I was 22. I had the fattest arm in that picture! It was awful! It definitely shocked me. The next thing that scared me was trying to find clothes for the summer. My size 14 was too tight, and I actually had to go into one of those special plus-size stores to try and find clothes. And the clothes were AWFUL. For some reason, designers think that larger women want to wear tents covered in flowers, and that's just not true. I ended up getting some size 16 shorts that were a little too big, which was good. But after that, I promised myself that those kinds of stores would NOT be my future. The clothing did not make me feel good, and I hated it so much.

My starting weight was 183, and I am only 5'5”. The good thing about my body is that when it carries extra weight, it spreads it out evenly, and so people were surprised that I was overweight by so much.

That summer was 2009, and I started losing weight by trying to cut back my calories and biking. I started a job in a daycare that September, and by November, I had lost 20 pounds. I was very proud of my progress, and eventually ended up losing another 20 pounds, for a total of 40 pounds.

That's pretty much my story in a nutshell. However, weight loss in not a nutshell, and there are reasons every person gains weight. I think it's very important that every person who has struggled with their weight tries to understand the reasons behind why they did/do. I have two reasons.

As you may know, I used to dance. I did Winterguard for 5 years, starting when I was 11. I danced 12 hours a week most weeks of the year, and sometimes more. And, I was young and had a crazy metabolism, so I didn't have to worry about what I ate because it didn't really matter at the time. I just burned it all off, and I was good. However, after I stopped dancing when I was 16, I kept eating like crap, and that continued into University, when I became even more sedentary, and so on until I was overweight.

My second reason is a little more personal. In the past I've struggled with depression and very low self-esteem. When I was young, I had very few friends, and to be honest, I was a troubled child. As I grew up, I was just awkward, and was slightly bullied at times. I didn't really like myself, and I just had issues, and the people around me weren't very helpful in my growth as a person. I fully believe that the main reason I am currently so successful at being healthy and getting stronger and more fit is because of the love and support of my husband and the healthy emotional environment we have created in our relationship. He is a strong rock for me, and I thank God for him all the time. Because of his presence in my life, I have blossomed, and I am grateful to him for everything he does to help me.

So that's my story! And if you care to share about your weight struggles, I'd love to hear it. When did you realize you had a problem, and what do you think are the causes of it? And what has helped you be strong enough to find the courage to be healthy? You can share here on my blog in the comments and you can do it completely anonymously. Or if we're friends on Facebook, you can message me.

Lots of people have asked me questions about what I've done to lose weight and get healthy, and if you'd like to know, then stay tuned! It'll be an upcoming post.

<3

Amanda

My long history with shorts.

This is not going to be a typical first blog post. You know those, that have a whole introduction about the blogger and what they want to accomplish, yada yada yada. I'll do one of those eventually, but I wanted to start off this blog strong, and I finally have something strong to write about, so that's what this post is about.

If you've known me for any length of time, you'll know that I don't wear shorts a lot. If you've known me for a very long time, you'll know that I've never worn shorts a lot. It makes sense if you knew me when I was overweight, but not from before then. When I was in high school I was very skinny...my prom dress was a size 2, and I didn't fill out at all until I was 19 and in University. But even when I was teeny tiny I still hated wearing shorts. Eventually knee length shorts became popular and I took to wearing those. I didn't like them a lot; they made me feel older than I was and I thought they shortened my body and didn't flatter me. I'm mostly leg with a short torso, so cutting myself off at the knee is never really a good idea.

The reason I never wore anything above my knee was because I HATED my legs. Really badly. I was 11 when I began dancing (which is why I was so skinny during my teens), my legs gained muscle mass quickly and since it was before my hips expanded due to hormones, I ended up being covered in stretch marks. They're all faded now, but you can see them if you look hard enough. My hips and thighs and part of my belly are all covered in them. So I covered up my legs for a long long time. I also thought my thighs were huge, and since I was so tiny, I don't really know where I got that from. My thighs were not huge. My thighs are large now, but I've got hips and a booty and muscle to explain that. But I hated my thighs with a passion and suffered in jeans and long skirts for years because of it.

Anyways....now to the real point of this post. Finally! I'm living in Georgia now, and so I've kind of prepared myself with the knowledge that there's no way I'm going to be able to avoid wearing shorts, because I will literally boil in my own skin if I don't suck it up and do it this summer. I've developed blinders for when I assume people are judging me about my looks in any positive or negative way. So I just thought I'd put those on and truck on. But when I put on a pair of shorts the other day...I liked it. I looked at my thighs when I was in spin class (because I had my head down and was trying not to die) and thought, “Wow, those are skinny thighs.” So I decided to wear the shorts, and I looked so good in them! I couldn't get over it. I told Daric when he came home and he said they looked great too (well, of course he did :).

The important part is that I think my legs look good in shorts. I love my legs now! Look at those muscles!

But what has brought on this shift from negativity that I've had so long about my legs?

Well, working out of course! That's the point of this blog! I've had people ask for my advice on weight loss/fitness. I've had people tell me that I inspire them to do better in their fitness journey and that's so awesome to me! I love that!

I don't really know what anyone thinks of my fitness journey and efforts. I don't know if they think I'm doing it just to look good or to be healthy or what. I will go into the reasons behind my fitness in a future post, I promise, but one of the reasons I will give now is what I wrote above...to have confidence in myself. All those times I refused to wear shorts, it's because I thought I looked bad. It's not because anyone ever told me I looked bad or fat in them. It's because I thought I did. And now I don't. And my life is better and I think better of myself, and I believe in myself because I can make positive changes in my life that make me happier and have less worries. That's one of the most important parts of my journey.

I hope that you'll follow along with me on my journey!

If there's anything you'd like to see on my health/fitness blog, let me know, and I'll do my best to incorporate it. I need help getting this off the ground!

<3

Amanda